nanO

2009-08-06T13:20:00.000+08:00

Yes Sri,we should all move

2009-08-05T07:56:00.000+08:00

Mom's birthday is tmr.

I'm rushing doing the D.I.Y thing like i always did for Hairie.

I guess I wont be sleeping tonight.

Someone accompany me thru the night..

Pretty please..

Hairie *hint* *hint*

2009-08-02T20:47:00.001+08:00

Just one sentence for you

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU VERY VERY MUCH

2009-07-19T22:22:00.004+08:00

I'm back!

Today went Marina Barrage with Sri.

Its been months since I went there.

Okay so,I've found my photography buddy.

Sri Cempaka.....

Snap here and there.

And had dinner at marina square.

Atlast had my yam paste dessert.

But still not fully satisfied.

Bought red earphone from Creative.

And settled down at Esplanade for like fifteen minutes.

Snap snap again.

And by then I think Sri was already fed up with her

brother's camera.

Den walked to High Court and sat there for like fifteen minutes also.

And went Adelphi for toilet.

Den took train and straight home.

I'm really looking forward for picnic with Sri

at Botanical Garden!

three more days

2009-07-05T01:11:00.003+08:00

Illustrate!

Today,met up with alee and botak.

went arab st.

talked alot abt design stuff.

abt school next yr.

and we saw rain.

he's joining lasalle this aug.

abt an hour later,nurul and farah joined.

I feel like i'm 17 again when i'm with them.

tell me when was the last time i talked to someone abt design?

it was 3 years ago.

And when was the last time i did illustration?

it was 3 years ago.

And tmr,I'll start practicing illustration again.

On board.

And I'll give one of my illustrated board to Hairie.

only if i find it nice.

And i'm planning to have a next meet up but this time.

with malik and the rest.

2009-07-03T12:55:00.002+08:00

I felt like crying when i saw the late MJ last rehersal vid.

Gone too soon....

*cries*

2009-07-01T20:29:00.000+08:00

I just got my pay and now i'm already broke!

2009-06-29T12:47:00.004+08:00

Its a regret for not being serious in study while i'm in skool 4 yrs back

Now i wanna take diploma in multimedia.

But den my GPA not enough.

Can go NAFA but money not enough.

So how?

Obviously, I got no one to blame except for myself.

2009-06-28T19:01:00.002+08:00

Weekends

(Saturday)

Initial plan was to meet Peter and friends.

Together with Yanlin,Mira and Jenny.

But cancelled at the very last minute.

So straight home after work

and slept like a log.

Woke up at 5plus pm

felt hungry.

Went to the kitchen and to

such dissappoinment

Mak cooked fish!

And i dun eat fish!

Went to kedai mama and tapau two packet

of maggi goreng.

Reached home watched 'Blood:The Last Vampire'

which i've leave to load before i went to kedai mama.

Watched halfway and let it load again

and eat my maggi goreng.

Its a regret for buying two packet.

First, the maggi was not properly fried.

Some parts are tasteless.

and some strands of maggi are still yellow.

which should be in red.

Just like the mee goreng mama.

I ate a little and continue watching blood.

after dat helped mira fixed her blogskin.

den watched BOF.

after dat off to dreamland.

Sunday.

Woke up at 10.50am

and irritate the other two siblings so that they wake up.

Took a bath and went to shop and save with Hakim,brother.

Bought breads,tofu and one box of potato.

reached home helped the neighbour took care

of her newborn baby girl,Maisarah.

Den after 2hrs,returned back.

I slept for like 3 hours.

Den make popiah.

Den just abt 5 mins ago.

Mak shouted from the kitchen

"Sape suroh kau beli kentang?!"

(Who asked you to buy potato?!)

Actually Mak asked me to buy bread and tofu only!

.___.

Den the others start blaming me for being so smart..

nyehnyehnyehnyehnyeh.

Den a minute ago.

Mak confidently said Gu Jun Pyo as

Pinikio!

Okay I wanna go pray.

bye!

2009-06-24T12:54:00.003+08:00

I'm wondering is my laptop okay...

And I'm really gonna chop off my hair short!

CHOP! CHOP! CHOP!

2009-06-21T20:59:00.002+08:00

Laptop spoilt!

and i'm worried that the pictures in there will dissappear.

Those pictures are priceless!

I will cry if they touch my hard disk!

2009-06-20T00:11:00.004+08:00

Disini aku masih sendiri

merenungi hari-hari sepi

Aku tanpamu

Masih tanpamu
Bila esok hari datang lagi

Ku coba untuk hadapi semua ini

Meski tanpamu, meski tanpamu

Suara dengarkanlah aku
Apa kabarnya pujaan hatiku
Aku disini menunggunya
Masih berharap didalam hatinya
Suara dengarkanlah aku
Apakah aku slalu dihatinya

Aku disini menunggunya

masih berharap di dalam hatinya

Kalau aku masih tetap disini

Ku lewati semua yang terjadi

Aku menunggumu, aku menunggu

I miss dating with Dzulkhairie...

:'(

2009-06-18T20:33:00.003+08:00

With the swine flu evolving around the world,

I'm actually getting mad with the people

who went for holiday to the infected countries.

For me,its very stupid to go on holiday to such countries.

Its like a risk you have to take.

And when you're already infected,

you'll increase the flu case in the country.

Why cant they just wait for the flu to

be at the mild stage to go on holiday?

I just cant understand this people..

Really........!

2009-06-16T20:14:00.003+08:00

Monday morning: Hesitate, I can't get out of bed

I'd rather go back to the dreams

I'm living in my head

Tuesday evening: Pack my bags,

I'm heading out the door

I left a box of memories lying on the floor

2009-06-14T13:58:00.002+08:00

I miss this hair
I miss this fren of mine the most.

I miss them

and i miss this time of my life the most!

My plan with ali to plan a reunion thing with the rest

kept on postphoning.

wonder when i can meet all of them...

2009-06-09T20:12:00.002+08:00

Currently,

only this guy can make me smile,

make me scream and make my heart skip a beat.

I'm gonna miss tmr interview..

Newbie joining the company.

And if i happen to be in the office tmr,

I wont show my friendly face.

okay.

nano,so bad.

hehe

okay just now something funny happened at work.

Spiky,the black dog bit the fat manager.

i guess spiky see her as a big lump of meat.

dats why spiky bit her.

and she's like trying to tell the whole office dat

she got bitten.

Like wth...

and not knowing what to talk to me,

she came up with a topic abt the color printing.

And my reaction was empty.

i look neither at her nor the print.

Nowadays, i just cant be bother to entertain people

who got nothing to talk abt but trying very hard to come up

with a topic just to talk to me.

And the worst is,that topic doesnt interest me at all.

Oh please,dont waste my time.

I dont think i cant put on a fake smile anymore when

something doesnt interest me.

i just show that i'm not interested.

I miss the gfs!
I miss hairie even more...

2009-05-31T20:10:00.002+08:00

Pressure.

If I'm gonna live life like this for

a couple of months more.

I think I'm left with skin and bones

and a few strands of hair .

2009-05-26T15:41:00.002+08:00

When I saw you,

I'm speechless.

All i can do was to smile.

I kept on smiling even tho my inside

was already bursting out.

I know the first time will be hard

But the second and third will be much more easier.

2009-05-18T21:27:00.003+08:00

Nightmares.

Dejavus.

Bruises.

I'm having nightmares almost every night.

And its all abt you.

I'm having dejavus lately.

And its making me headache.

I'm having bruises

almost each time i woke up from sleep.

Atleast twice a month.

And the bruises were those type

with purple dots on it.

I wonder which creature has done it to me.

I'm feeling totally empty inside.

I'm yearning for the feeling of warmth i felt few months back.

Patiently waiting.

That's what i did all this while.

few months to go.

Just have to wait patiently.

Life is all about work now.

And i'm sick and tired of Triumph.

I wonder what the designers there are doing.

They're bloodsuckers!

So pissed off!

And oh!

I lost weight.

48kg now.

2009-05-12T12:47:00.002+08:00

My short escape to kmpg makes me misses him even more.

tmr is 13th and its empty.

2009-05-08T12:42:00.003+08:00

Boys Before Flowers will be on Channel U this may.

I'm soooo gonna watch it again.

And everytime time Gu Jun Pyo face appear on TV,

i'll stop whatever i'm doing at that point of time.

He dazzle me..

And the whole family knows, I'm head over heels over Gu Jun Pyo.

Even tho now that I just notice his hair is like Medusa.

And Abah also knows that GJP makes me like one crazy woman.

I dont care.

2009-05-06T12:40:00.002+08:00

.Nightmare.

Had it again last night.

And its the worst.

And when I woke up,

I pretended to be okay

but deep inside,

no one noes how afraid i am.

I'm really hoping that all these

nightmares will stop.

I cant take it anymore.

especially when there's no one to

comfort me after that.

Nightmare, please stop haunting me.

I need peaceful night sleep.

2009-05-02T08:12:00.004+08:00

Its been a month..

And I'm really tired of restless nights.

I'm still stuck in this terrible nightmare..

2009-05-01T11:06:00.002+08:00

Fringe Bag [checked]

Gloss Leggings [checked]

Oversize Plain Tee [checked]

Taxi Eyeshadow [checked]

And I'm done with this month shopping list.

And seriously I need to re-perm my hair.

i think thats it for this post!

bye~

2009-04-28T17:46:00.000+08:00

I miss doing SHOWREEL~

2009-04-20T12:25:00.002+08:00

Boys Before Flowers (BBF)

This korean drama had accompanied

me thru my lunch times,

my night times and my free times.

And it made me laugh and weep

and I'm in love with these four boys!

Guem Jan di(the girl).

I wished i can be like her.

A very strong girl cos i'm

tired of being a weakling.

And so, BBF had accompanied

me for a week

and i've completed watching it.

And so yesterday night felt empty.

I think i'm going to watch BBF all over again.

Just like how i watched twilight over and over again.

Eh wait!

i think i'll proceed with Full House.

Sri recommend it to me.

So, a big2 thank you to Sri.

2009-04-12T19:15:00.003+08:00

Had my girls out yesterday.

Had lunch at delifrance funan IT mall.

And we're the most noisy ones there.

But heck!

I dont care!

I'm having fun!

And thanks Lea for the desert treat.

And that cookie couture is a MUST try!

And after filling up our empty stomach,

we had our next station of fun at

Mindscafe!

It was two thumbs up!

Played big taboo.

And it was filled with actions,laughters,

blur faces,guessings and other weird2

stuff.

So we had an hour of fun there.

And planned was to proceed with bowling

at marina square.

But it was packed.

So lea,ais and mas went to arcade.

While seha,sri and myself went MIA.

Oh but before that,

while on the way to marina.

We split up.

which make it into two groups.

seha,lea,ais and mas.

and another group was sri and myself.

I just dunno why they suddenly decide to make a u turn

and walk at the different route.

And so we had this plan of making them

finding us.

we didnt answer any of their calls neither their texts.

But in the end we did answer but didnt say anything

just give them clue of where we are.

And idk waiting for us for dunno how long,

we met at the bowling centre.

heh.

So back to that part where sri,seha and myself went MIA

for an hour.

We got tired and decide to join the rest back.

But sri,seha,mas decide to make it a day.

while ais,lea and myself stayed behind

and just sit and talk at esplanade.

Its heart wrecking that night

really.

knowing everything.

And up til now my mood is still up and down.

DEPRESSIONS!

2009-04-12T11:33:00.002+08:00

Why does everything have to hurt so badly

when you're gone?

I tot i can live life peacefully

and let my mind at ease.

But i was wrong.

The depression adds on.

I guess its wrong for me to

socialise myself at this point of time.

And i guess its better for me

to do my own thing and be alone

and not meeting anyone

for now.

So that way,

i wont know what i didnt wanna know.

Seriously, at times i just dont wanna know what

you did behind my back.

But eventually i will know.

Either by my ownself or other sources.

*Sigh*

Why cant you be a good boy and never hurt me behind my back?

2009-04-10T09:47:00.000+08:00

And so, I dreamt of him again.

I'm tired of restless sleep.

2009-04-08T12:43:00.001+08:00

Not in the best mood today.

Woke up at the wrong side of bed..

I think...

2009-04-07T21:16:00.002+08:00

One year to complete everything.

I hope I can complete within the date line.

Today is the most stupidest day in my life ever!

And mas you're right...

"jgn kanchiong,nnt benda senang jadi susah.."

2009-04-06T20:23:00.005+08:00

I feel confuse.

One side feels insecure.

Insecure for what i saw last saturday

in your little blue box.

Another part of me is missing you.

I miss going High Court with you.

I miss having 'Edward Cullen'

name appearing on my mobile.

I miss hearing your voice.

I miss your comforting when i woke up

from nightmares.

I miss you calling my name.

I miss your scent.

I miss your smile.

I miss holding your hands.

I miss baseball games with you.

I miss the feeling of my heart skipping a beat.

I miss having butterflies in my stomach when

i'm with you.

I miss turning to you when i'm having problems.

I miss whining abt work to you.

I miss laughing with you.

I miss arguing with you.

I miss my saturdays with you.

I miss night calls with you.

I miss hugging you when i cry.

I miss doing everything

when i'm with you.

:'(

I've just completed reading my past entries.

I guess history repeats itself.

Slowly, my appetite is running low.

And i realise my double chin

decreased.

I felt like vomitting after eating.

I did 'big business' every morning

and right after eating.

I guess sooner or later,

I'll lost weight again.

And hopefully, i wont look

as miserable as last year.

I dont wanna repeat that

period of time again.

PLEASE!

2009-04-05T15:33:00.001+08:00

*SPEECHLESS*

2009-04-04T00:23:00.002+08:00

Atlast there's something i'm looking forward to.

Will be coming over to the Dzul's house later.

And will be meeting his mom after she end her work.

And den we'll go eat eat eat..

And hopefully, I wouldnt shed any tears.

Please be strong nanO.

And i still got piles of photos to upload and

edit from my alpha.

I got to give myself a dateline.

Prolly next week will be done with

everything.

Okay sri?

And tot of going to the beach

on sunday.

Collect seashells.

Why collect seashells?

Simple reason.

I've been assigned by Lorna (triumph second boss) to

design for ecochic for Taka for the last two weeks.

and somehow, it influences me

with those nature things.

And here i am,

wanting to collect seashells on sunday.

But after dat, idk what i'm going to do

with those seashells that i've collected.

Prolly, its just another way to waste my

freeeeee time.

2009-04-02T22:08:00.002+08:00

The more the days passed.

The more I'm not looking forward to anything.

EMPTY.

Eversince that broke down day.

I feel like I got no more tears to let out.

Even tho at times i feel like crying,

but i just cant let it out.

And the wallpaper of you on my mobile,

is killing me.

I'm too tired to occupy my free space.

so in the end, i have to give in to my emotion.

Every night, before sleep.

I'll wonder of you.

What are you doing.

Hows your day.

Are you thinking of me.

do you miss me as much as i miss you.

All those questions kept on floating.

I dont know the answer.

I'm planning to make a great escape to kampong.

leave all these feelings behind.

and let myself free for a couple of days.

Public holidays,please come as soon as possible.

I NEED YOU!

2009-03-31T19:54:00.002+08:00

Exhausted!

2009-03-27T12:42:00.002+08:00

My days are spent in office busy with work.

My nights are spent with the bestfriend.

My end of the day are spent shedding tears

before falling asleep.

I dont know how long I'm going to live life like this.

And the senior asked

"Nur,why nowadays you go to work wear make up?

New mascara issit?"

And i simply replied

"Oh.Cos i dont wanna look miserable.

And go to work with swollen eyes."

Seriously, I'm feeling exhausted going out almost everyday

after work.

But i got no choice.

That's the only way to distract myself.

2009-03-25T12:39:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was harder than what i've expected.

When i walked at cityhall with supi,

and when i saw high court.

All those memories came back running out from

the little corner of my brain.

But i still manage to smile like nothing's happening

in my head.

When i glanced at highcourt,

i saw the two of us.

Exactly how we looked like on the last day i met you.

Today, was harder..

I wore the same dress that i last met you.

And i kept on thinking of meeting you after work,

which i entirely forgot where you are now.

But when i realised, my heart breaks all over again.

And my appetite is already slowing down.

Everything taste so weird and dirty..

Idontknowwhy.

2009-03-24T12:29:00.003+08:00

I may be smiling outside.

And act as per normal at work.

Talk alot.

Laugh alot.

Gossip alot..

Just like my normal daily routine.

But deep inside,only certain people know

what i'm going thru.

And when night falls,

that was the hardest part.

Crying silently.

Trying to not make any sound.

or move like as if i'm crying.

hug that smiley pillow that you gave tightly.

and wipe the tears using that,

cos all these while ur fingers were the one

dat wiped away my tears.

Waking up is like waking up

from the most terrifying nightmare.

But still, i'm in that same nightmare.

And having this habit of texting him every morning

and eversince that day,

i felt something missing.

i have to throw that habit.

and checking the mobile everytime i woke up from sleep

be it 3 or 4 am in the morning,

i have to throw that too.

he has occupied every angle of my life.

And ever since that day,

I dont dare to look at his photo,

wear his shirts,

look at the things he has given me,

look at our photo,

listen to our songs,

play his voice which i've secretly

recorded 2 yrs back while he's singing

dat iloveyou youloveme song,

Everything from him,

I chuck one side of the room.

His clothes,

i chuck one corner of my wardrobe.

Hide it underneath my unused clothes.

And those memories,

I'm still trying to push it at the very corner

of my brain.

Its hard but i noe i can do this.

Atleast, by doing this helps me not

to be so miserable.

Which at times, I really am feeling miserable.

And that Katy Perry song,

Thinking of You.

Makes me weep.

And now, I'm afraid of dat song.

And lastly,

Please be strong nanO

2009-03-23T12:46:00.001+08:00

For as long as my heart is still beating.

2009-03-16T12:35:00.000+08:00

I miss watching Lion King..

2009-03-15T22:54:00.004+08:00

Been very busy this week.

Work and life.

Work was really a pressure last few days.

And its killing me.

I guess one day i'll vomit blood or even faint on my desktop
in the office.
Both Triumph and BT was giving me pressure.

My life is like a hamburger.

And i'm the patty.

Its just so hard to get approval for the artworks from Triumph.

And there's one time this week,

I waited until 3++ pm to get the approval of the artwork

to proceed for printing.

And when there's late artwork to be printed,

there goes my friend from BT

nagging like a mak nenek.

And he was a guy.

Keep on nagging2 and nagging.

And always says i'm no good bla3..

and always compare me with the senior which

at times hurts me.

but i didnt show it.

Like c'mon ar,

I'm dealing with triumph not 7eleven which my senior is dealing.

7eleven is a straight forward artwork

but triumph isnt.

and dats why i always get the approval late.

But I know this guy from BT will never understand.

If i can tahan,i will.

But once i cant, I'll guess i'll just hang up the phone.

Apart from being busy with work,

I've been busy with my miniature.

And dat was a request from Abg Az(hairie's brother)

it took me four rushing days to complete it.

Life,

was kinda hectic now.

Its going upside down for the moment.

the person who can make me happy was my siblings

but yet still when i'm with them,

I'm thinking of him.

Did shopping today with the siblings.

Tried to distract myself.

But I cant.

But atleast, I did a go job trying to be happy.

Had nachos dip cheese at ben & jerry.

And it was heaven.

It was a great outing.

But as soon as i reach home.

I'm all gloomy again.

2009-03-15T15:42:00.001+08:00

Comparisons are easily done

Once you've had a taste of perfection

Like an apple hanging from a tree

I picked the ripest one

2009-03-12T12:42:00.003+08:00

*silence*

2009-02-18T20:14:00.003+08:00

.Life.

Has been overly occupied with work!

2 days of last week was spent in Triumph office.

helping them out with the artwork and the floor plan.

Its such a waste of time.

I think doing the artwork in my office is better.

And i feel like they're stepping on my head.

cos last time i only have to print the artwork.

But now, i've to do the artwork and also to print.

But yet still, pay didnt go up..

Pissed off!

2009-02-09T21:06:00.005+08:00

6th February 2009.

Marks 21st anniversary of my parents marriage.

We had a mini celebration.

I ordered cupcakes for them.

Went all the way to woodlands with Hakim.

And Kak Ros wasnt home so I

collected the cakes from her elder sister.

And something bad happened after I've collected the cakes.

I fell down all of a sudden.

And my chest hit the curb.

And from chest downwards was at the road.

And the first thing that came to mind was,

TO SAVE THE CAKES.

Hakim didnt realise I fell cos he was looking at other direction.

And when he looked at my direction, I was already lying down flat

like a superman!

We laughed all the way home.

So reached home,get changed.

Family photo.

Eat cakes.

And went to Arnolds.

After that went back home.

And when sleeping time,that was the hardest part.

The pain from the falling in the afternoon hit me!

I can hardly sleep.

Everything hurts especially my right shoulder joint til the elbow joint.

And because of that,I can bearly touch my back.

But no worries, I'm like 60% recovered now.

And I can see how worried Hairie is when he heard me fell.

And he offered himself to accompany me to the hospital for an xray

if it doesnt get any better.

And I got scolding from him for trying to save the cakes.

Cos it should be my life came first den the cakes.

But my thinking was different.

Cakes comes first den me.

I know its stupid.

And i deserve the scoldings.

Thanks for the scoldings Hairie,appreciate it very much.

2009-01-27T21:52:00.002+08:00

When was the last time i stayed home when I'm having long holidays?

I cant recall at all..

BUTTTTTT!

that's what happen from Saturday til today(tues)

Its a well spent holiday...

Painting roomsss...

with the help of dad,siblings and dearest hairie...

And hairie have been spending a whole lot of time with me nowadays.

And i really appreciate it.

And my room is like 65% done.

just left with hanging of photos.

and some graphic painting on the wall.

My room reflects what i am..

Infact what we are.

Both my sister and I.

And the new mattress i bought from Ikea is really giving me a GOOD night sleep

and its like i'm sleeping on clouds.

cos its double layer..

i'm afraid one night i might fall myself while sleeping.

Okay so tmr back to work..

*I'm trying very hard to block pain memories from

my bloody brain.

I think for now,I'm doing good at it..*

2009-01-25T19:21:00.003+08:00

Finally,I've completed reading 'New Moon'..

Soon enough will be buying Eclipse..

Nowadays, I felt days passed very fast...

And Wednesday will be just around the corner.

First thing, have to get back to work...

Secondly, there's something on Wednesday.

And it makes me very worried.

And its making hole in my heart and butterflies in my stomache.

I'll never be ready for such things.

NEVER.

And infact, the butterflies in my stomache is really making me puke

over my food that I've eaten earlier.

These has been going on for like 2 months I guess..

Worrying every minute..

Hoping it wasnt my last moment.

Which I know,sooner or later it will be my last moment.

Enough said, that's it for today.

2009-01-23T17:51:00.002+08:00

Dragggyyyyyy!!

It took me longer than i tot..

and i still have yet to finish the book.

Currently,nothing interesting happen in life.

OH WAIT!

there is..

but i wont mention here...

and it makes me reallly happy..

and feels like i'm flying over the moon..

but its too early!

2009-01-12T21:11:00.002+08:00

Bought twilight book on Friday.

And as soon as i reached home..

i read nearly sixty pages on it.

It gives me this addiction to continue

reading it on and on.

and now i can see why those readers of twilight

are disappointed with the movie.

and i'm disappointed too.

And now,I'm done reading it.

It took me 4 days to complete the whole book.

And tmr,will be getting new moon.

will try to find it @ kino @ taka,orchard.

hopefully,there's still stock.

cos what i heard from sri there's no more stock

for new moon and eclipse.

Well,hopefully there's still stock.

And my Alice cullen is wayyyyy more beautiful than

what shows on screen.

And so does Edward cullen.

but still, i cant imagine how my own version

of bella looked like.

heee...

2009-01-05T12:26:00.003+08:00

Would we be able to have our second round of

baseball game like we had last sat?

2009-01-02T23:59:00.002+08:00

Harajuku Lovers.

Such a regret for buying dis limited edition perfume.

it really has nice smell.

but cost me 67bux for only 30ml!

hopefully,the smell last long..

2008-12-28T09:08:00.003+08:00

TWILIGHT!

For the THIRD time!

went vivo city with hairie...

supposingly, we have to meet at one forty five at amk mrt station..

but he's always late..

waited for him half an hour..

and den we proceed to dhoby ghaut and den to harbour front..

and we bought tix for twilight at three ten pm..

and this is the first time we sat at row A!

which is as you all noe..

is the first row.

and i'm quite pissed actually..

cos i was hoping for the best seat.

but i dun wanna spoil the day just bcos of the seats..

twilight ended at early six..

chill at the outdoor area for awhile..

and den headed to banquet at harbour front centre..

and had my horfun...

and den headed to clark quay.

and have our talks..

its a talk to remember..

for life...

i've just to prepare when it will happen..

anytime now..

just have to make every outing a special one.

And i love the color of my eyes in this picture..

golden brown..

just like edward cullen..!

hahahah!

twilight madness is still ON!

2008-12-21T16:02:00.002+08:00

Its good to have everything back on track.

Atleast for awhile..

2008-12-17T22:29:00.003+08:00

Now who's to be blame for everything that happen?

Now who's to be blame for not knowing anything?

Who's to be blame for not restricting his freedom?

I dont want to take the blame!

Now, that everything has happened,

and nothing can be done,

Just blink your eyes and wait what will happen next!

Dont blame anything on me!

2008-12-14T22:27:00.005+08:00

"Every bad things happen,good things will happen along the way"

-Supi a.k.a Little Fren-

Today,the sentence above prove itself right.
Dzulaikha and I..

Never hang out together..

Never shares anything so deep before...

But eversince the bad incident fell upon us,

we shared what we feel..

we share our laughters...

we share our sorrows..

and for the first time..

we cried together side by side..

we cry for the person we love most..

and in the name of love..

we did something that we shouldnt have done..

but, i guess we put on so much hope..

but when we reach there..

we werent allowed to do what we wanna do..

*heartbreaks**silent cries*

We're missing Dzulkhairie so much...

I hope he's missing us too....

2008-12-13T22:17:00.005+08:00

Today, 28th mths anniversary..

And I'm missing you each and every second....

WemissyouDzulkhairie....

Twilight for the second time..
and again, I watched it online..
ALONE..
and same feelings..
cry..
smile..
cry...
smile...
and den i cry thru out the whole night...
crazy?
you're welcome to call me that..
=)

and now i'm hooked with decode by paramore..
"What kind of man that you are
If you're a man at all
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own"

2008-12-11T21:03:00.003+08:00

P.O.P.O!!!!!
went to tekong on 9th dec to attend hairie p.o.p..
together with hairies' mom...
everything went fine...
trying to find lala and nurul..
but to no avail...
let the pictures do the talking okay...

2008-12-09T04:36:00.002+08:00

06 December '08...

two events on one day...

Darrens wedding

and my bday.

And i'm already a big 2-0..

Thanks colleague for making my day..

And thanks hairie for making that night a wonderful one..

Thank you mOnjie2.!

And i received quite a number of gift from Body Shop

given by the colleague..

Like as if they know I like body shop...

haha..

so, the wedding dinner went fine..

Uncle Hisa was so hyperactive that night..

and he got a new "dookie" that night..

previously was on the right..

now add on the centre..

Yanlin and Mira you should noe what i'm talking about..

and fat woman,being so thicked skin dat night invited herself for

photo taking with us..

none of us invited her..

she invited herself..

and yea as always,being so black hearted,

she actually told us not to wear so grand..

but that night..

she wore so grand..

with hair and make up done by the salon.

lucky us,we didnt listen to what she said..

and the food..

was sooo much better this time....

i think i'm now learning to eat the yam paste with sweetened milk something2..

(the desert for that night)

hurhur...

Timecheck: 04:50am(09thdec08)

i'm not asleep yet!

I'm on leave today cos

later will be attending hairie's p.o.p with his mom..

hopefully will get to meet lala there..

and i'm still thinking what to wear..

haha.

til here ppl!

take care!

and thanks for the bday presents and wishes...

2008-12-03T21:54:00.003+08:00

Got to admit...

I'm still in the twilight mood..

I wanna watch the movie again(online)..

but i have to resist the temptation of watching it again.

I'm planning to watch twilight for the second time with hairie..

If i still cant get enough of it..

I'll watch it with sri..

I did some research.

And mostly said that the book is better than the movie.

Anyone have the book can borrow me?

Please...

Just hang up the phone with hairie.

And i'm missing him already...

I really do hope he can fetch me on saturday after the wed dinner and

after his recruits nite..

Seriously,my bday wont be a happy one if i cant get to see his face!

So readers,pray hard for me so dat on saturday,hairie can fetch me.

And i really dunno what to answer if people were to ask.

What i want for my bday..

Not to talk big here..

But i can afford anything dat has got to do with money..

I dun need any of dat..

I need something dat cant be bought with money..

And i want it from the person i love most..

Dzulkhairie...

2008-12-01T23:10:00.003+08:00

I'm already missing the gfs...
Saturday outing wasnt enuff for me..
And i've just finish watching TWILIGHT!
and i cried..
den i smiled..
and i cried again..
and smiled again..
I'm in love with EDWARD CULLEN!
"she's with edward..she's part of our family"
I'm touch with this sentence..
see,even vampire can give human beings a sense of belonging..
but why cant human beings with human beings?

Photos from last sat outing with my dearest gfs;HHP

Sri the bday girl..

see how happy she is when she receive the gift..

the almost complete of us.so sayang ais cant join..

this is how we say gdbye..

2008-11-30T07:56:00.002+08:00

Saturday night!

met my dearest HHP..

and ohhh i miss them sooooooo much..

and supi looks cute with her curly hair..

and so i join them late..

around seven plus..

together with mas and wani..

and den we went to arab st.

and yest was almost a complete outing.

except ais.

and so only sri,supi and i shesha-ed.

while the rest just have drinks.

and as usual..

GIRLS TALK..

i loveee girls talk..

and as always,lea gave us the best advise ever..

and while having girls talk,ali arrived to pass

me after effects software.

and after dat we cam whored..

its been quite sometime i cam whored.

and yest was a blast.

cam whoring like nobodys' business.

and photographer of the day,miss sri cempaka..

and den suddenly botak called.

i swear i didnt see him..

he was at the same place..

and we talked for awhile..

talked abt cameras..

and mayb dec will be having reunion.

and at 2230hrs we make a move..

supi was being fetched by hairul..

sri,wani and i took cab back home.

and seha went to some other place.

"I've lost my sense of belonging,

Should we save this or should we end it?"

2008-11-27T23:06:00.002+08:00

And I'm talking about lace dresses again..
Just came back from PS with mas..
Went spotlight.
and bought 2.5m of lace..
and cost me ard 38$..
not inlcuding the linen...
I still have yet to decide the color of my linen..
Light brown?
White?
Yellow maybe...?
I'm so damn tired......
Mom and dad got nothing to say when they asked me
what's the total cost of the lace..
they just shook their head..
hahah...!

And i'm so not looking forward for days to come...
I dunno why...
I feel so down...
I've yet to talk to hairie abt what's bothering me.
Bcos of this, I'm totally on the off mode in everything..
Be it work...
Outing with frens...
Event coming up...
And now, I'm not even looking forward for Darrens' wedding..
And also my bday...
Its like I dun wanna go forward nor turn back...
I wanna stay put..
Just here...
Right here...
Urgh!!!
Can i shut myself from this world?

2008-11-26T20:53:00.002+08:00

LACE DRESSES!!!
I'm in love with lace dresses..
Especially those long sleeve lace dress from Prada..
But sadly, I cant afford one.
So,I'm having the tot of tailoring one from Mary
for Darren's wedding dinner on 6th Dec.
Which happen to be my birthday.
And its held at Pan Pacific Hotel.
I'm really looking forward to it..
*smiles*

I'm looking forward to watch Quarantine..
Seems like a good movie..
And also Twilight..
They've been talking abt these movies everywhere..
Especially on 98.7fm..
I love movies abt vampires and zombies...
My cup of tea..
:)

Work was fine today.
But I like how the office looks just now..
FILTHY.....
Our design department looks like a war zone now.
Hopefully no one clean it up tonight.
So tmr it will still look like war zone..
And i love it..
And so does Yanlin..
=)
And today,I'm on my off mode..
I did my work so slowlyy...
But still i managed to complete everything on time.
Tmr is another day at work..
haiz...

I miss seha,mas,supi,sri,ais and lea...
I'm missing HHP so much...
And i'm gonna miss this sat outing..
People,make sure there's outing on dec so i cn join all of u..

2008-11-25T21:15:00.003+08:00

Can I have this hair?

Its been two weeks I'm having this tot of

chopping my hair off..

I just cant stand having hairfall everyday..

and the bedroom floor is fill with my hair..

*sigh*

currently i'm at my downfall..

and ya like always i couldnt concentrate at work.

today is the worst day ever.

i took 1hr++ to design a signboard layout...

i got nth else to say

bye!

2008-11-24T12:52:00.001+08:00

I'll be just fine....

2008-11-21T20:44:00.001+08:00

.Mood.Swing.

2008-11-20T21:10:00.002+08:00

MAJIDE!!!

Finally, the game show has ended..

And Justin won..

I really want Donnell to win.

herh!

Okay,work was better den yesterday.

met new people.

Eric from triumph.

Another pain in the head.

but i managed to complete everything.

Weekend is a day away...

i guess it will be a stay home for me..

will try to finish up the scrapbooking...

sunday will be coming over to the cousin place..

I'm missing hairie sooo much...

He's on his way home now...

And i'm sorry for the lost of his aunt.

2008-11-19T12:14:00.002+08:00

Just so you know,we're not superhuman...
dun blame everything to us.

I'm feeling so 'pekchek' today.

We,the designers have tried our very best to make everything perfect.

but at the end of the day, its us who get the scoldings..

who get all the blamings..

and yup i broke down at work today.

nope,i'm not alone.

even my senior broke down.

our life are like hamburger.

pressure up and down..

and the uncle gave me pressure.

every morning kept on complaining..

artwork not yet printed, he complain...

artwork printed, he complain...

artwork tooo long, he complain.

den what you expect me to do when the artwork is long??

i have to follow what the gave wat..

cannot suka2 shorten the measurement.

and ya the funny part is jenny got scolding becos of plastic bocor!

see plastic bocor also our fault.

blame the person who carry it la..

acrylic is heavy wat.

den why carry it in a horizontal way.

of course the it will koyak la..

we're not God okay.

we are human beings.

so treat us like one.

and the manager especially.

i think she should go for anger management.

kept on nagging and nagging.

acts like a lady boss.

even the lady boss doesnt act dat way.

she's wayyyyyyy toooo over.

hopefully tmr is a better day at work.

2008-11-15T23:40:00.003+08:00

today, is bf first day of his field camp...
and i'm missing him already.
before that he texted me in the morning ard 4+am..
reminding me to take good care of myself and stuff..
i find it sweet cos its been quite sumtime he's like dat..
So today i spent my day with seha and mas.
and we went karaoke..
three hours of "wailing" isnt enough..
after dat three hours,we search for place to eat.
tot of eating at far east the level five there.
but when we reach there..
its so crowded so we opt for pasta mania.and before that.
three of us bought a dress..
seha and i bought dat butterfly dress.
while mas bought this sweet looking dress.
okay i dunno why i'm into dresses now..
i just bought a dress 2 weeks ago.
and today i bought one again..
jeans isnt my taste anymore..
prolly bcos i'm wearing jeans everyday to work.
now sian already.
okay so after buying dresses we went pasta mania.
mas had her spag bolognaise,soup of the day and coke.
seha had her cabonara,soup of the day and coke.
and i had beef lasagna,soup of the day,coke and tiramisu.
i'm in love with their lasagna and tiramisu.
and den after eating tot of going arab st..
but looking at the time we cancel it.
so we opt for starbucks at cathay picturehouse.
mas had her java chip.
seha had her white mocha..
and i had rasberry blended cream.and den we talk and talk and talk til it 2230.
and we ended the day by taking a cab home.....

Our dinner

this is how a minah metal behave when chosing her songs....

nanO and mas

seha! us again!!

So tomorrow or to be exact later,

will be going jurong bird park with the colleagues..

Okay i'm going to be a zombie on monday!

okay i shouldnt complain much cos bf asked me to enjoy my weekend.

so here i am enjoying my weekend like nobody' business.

2008-11-11T12:41:00.003+08:00

I'm proud to present...

My 'Bra' Christmas tree.

Design for ecochic by triumph..

I wont be updating much for now .

Currently busy with my 'made with love' project.

bye!!!!

2008-11-07T00:36:00.001+08:00

This is loveeeeeeeeeee....

I love him..

I love his songs...

I love his hair...

okay bye!

2008-11-05T22:18:00.002+08:00

I cant wait for saturday..

three more days..

I'm counting down every minute...

How i wish every saturday i didnt have to go to work.

so i can fetch him when he book out.

I'm missing hairie sooooooooooo soooooooo

much!

Next week field camp!

Such a torturing weeks for me..

haiz....

So saturday will be a date with hairie and alpha.....

I'm lovin' it..

2008-10-29T12:37:00.002+08:00

I hate it when i'm falling sick.
and double hateness when my cardigan was nowhere to be found.
and my bone is aching...
its always like tat when i'm falling sick..
and the aircon temp was set to 23degrees celcius.
but still i feel like it was at 18 degress celcius.
i wish i can go home.
but work is piling up.
and will continue to pile up later after lunch.
i wanna gooo hommmmeeeeeeeeeeeee.........

2008-10-26T10:04:00.002+08:00

nope i didnt buy canon eos.
instead i bought sony alpha.
even tho darren insisted dat canon eos is so much better.
but when i get to hold it,it doesnt grip perfectly on my hand.
but sony alpha does.. =)
bought twin lens pack.
and now i'm halfway studying the manual book.
testing every function that they have.
and i have to study back what is aperture,how to control the white light.
easy say almost evertything.
and altho its a twin lens,its still not a complete set for me.
i still have to buy the temperature box and lens filter...
i wish money drop from the sky.
and i would be a happy kid.
*smiles*

2008-10-19T16:24:00.008+08:00

Sunday!

A stay home day for me.

I baked cupcake.

Its superrrrrrrrrrrrr easy....

i like the buttercream the most!

orange flavour with rainbow rice..

*smiles*

And den my two babies came..

tina & syuha..

oohhh i miss them so so so much!

kejap da besar budak2 tu..

and the two talked non stop...

talk and talk and talk and talk...

2008-10-16T16:58:00.003+08:00

night safari photo received from audrey.

Please search for me in the photo..

Where am i....

2008-10-15T23:18:00.003+08:00

As said, the night safari photos...

Happy viewing...

2008-10-13T04:56:00.003+08:00

Time check: 4.56am.
Just came back from kampong.
its just the same routine there.
shouldnt repeat the story again and again.
So this time i bought lacoste shoes.
planned was to buy that same asics shoe.
but think of it,its like wasted buying the same shoes.
Highlite in kampong, was abu the cat.
its a female cat.
and she looks exactly like manje,(hairies' cat)
but she's not fat like manje.
and i kept on calling abu, manje...
whereas she's not pampered at all..
How i wish i have a cat..
but abah wont allow me to have one...
but i dun care..
i'm gonna buy one for my 21st bday.
and abah kept on bugging me to start saving money for my marriage..
which i really dun have any of dat in mind now..
and honestly, i'm afraid of getting married.
afraid if abah didnt like my future husband in law..
which only god knows who....

And oh ya...
the night safari outing with the company on friday night was an OKAY for me.
the train of terror was such a bore..
only 1/4 of the ride was a scary one.
dat was the last part.
the 3/4 was a wasting time seeing the animals sleep!
and i think i shouted the loudest.
cos darren(boss 2nd son) said he actually heard me screaming whereas he's quite far from me.
those screamings caused me chest pain for 2 days.
pictured will be uploaded in the next entry.

and lastly good news and bad news...
good news is my dear fren Sharifah Fashiha Bte Syed Ali will be signing bond to be
a police woman on 20nd october!
Congrats arab!
I'm really2 happy for her.
The bad news is...
Less time spend with her..
And less phone conversation with her.
And i told her she gotta cut her hair short.
And dat will make her an afro again!
And....................
I'm gonna miss her!

Okay dat's all for today's post.
Wanna go to bed..
it's already 5:09am.
later will be accompanying abah for insurance thingy.
and before that will be going to dzulkhairie's place to pass her mom things that she kirim before i went kampong.
And OH!i just realised its 13th of the month today.
:))
bye readers!

2008-10-07T20:45:00.002+08:00

Those cupcakes look cute!
Okay I think i'm ordering cupcakes soon..
Got a sudden crave for it after viewing miss hannah beth blog.

Cant wait for friday!
Will be going night safari with the whole company.
But sadly, Yanlin wont be able to join.
So its left me and jye nee from the design department.

Another thing dat i cant wait is..
I'm going back kampong..
WEehoOoOo..!!
Will be buying that asics shoe again..
the previous one K.O already.

And lastly, will be getting the lappie this friday also!
*smiles*

2008-10-05T21:01:00.000+08:00

.frustrated.

2008-10-04T22:22:00.003+08:00

.Exhausted.
I'm feeling exhausted since the first day of hari raya.
And my feet, there's blisters..
Pain!
And den the next day have to go to work.
And i really got no energy to go.
But...drag myself to work.
And after work,met supi and mas.
And went kbox.
And den there's this sooo embarrassing moment of ours..
We're like sooo semgt joget2 in the room while singing teman tapi mesra.
and dat kbox guy knock on our door and actually saw us dancing..
wahhh sooo paisey!
i guess dats the last time i'll go there..
next time will be at different place.
haha...

So,today..
Met hairie.
And today is the first time i saw him in his army U.
Have to admit my heartmelt.
But of course i didnt show it to him.
Just pretend nothing happen.
And we had our lunch.
And went home.
i still cant get enough of him.
But have to understand that he's very tired.

Okay la that's all.
I'm craving for GOGO.!

2008-09-24T19:19:00.003+08:00

Hello people!

I'm back!
Apologies for the disappearance.
I'm still in the healing process.
Like i mentioned from the previous post.
My wound opened up again.
But with the support of the people
around me,I'm slowly pulling thru.
Alot of things happened while i'm on hiatus
from blogging.
Such as the rocking of relationship,
misunderstanding of friendship,
and
pressure at work.
Misunderstanding of friendship has already been solved.
And I'm really glad about it.
Pressure at work is still at it is.

So right now,I'm enjoying life with dearest friends.
Enjoying with limit of course.
Been meeting my second boyfriend every week.
Which is none other than Miss Supiah!
Thanks alot babe!

And lastly, all the best to the guy in green
in facing the torturing during NS.
24 months, you cant be there.
24 months, for me to forgive your biggest mistake.
24 months,I've to wait for you.
I hope this 24 months I can stay strong and pull thru.
And within these 24 months, I'll try my very best to wake up and smile again.

2008-09-13T22:58:00.003+08:00

I saw her.
She smiled.
And my wound open up again.
Proper update will be delayed.

2008-09-05T12:37:00.001+08:00

Soon...........it will be mineeeeeee...............
proper updates soon!

2008-08-28T12:24:00.001+08:00

say whatever u wanna say.

2008-08-06T12:11:00.002+08:00

Past 2 weeks has been alot of ups and downs.
One minute I'm happy.
Another minute I'm feeling so damn miserable.
The next minute I feel like crying.
Its so much for me to swallow everything at one time.
So on Monday, I texted the prettyboy asking to meet me on Tues.
Which is the last he'll be meeting me before 16th Aug.
And so yest I rushed my work thru out the day.
Avoiding myself from doing OT.
And also yesterday i felt like a bimbo.
Only Sri noes why.
Its abt that Graniph shirt.
So after werk I met the prettyboy.
And he's really late.
Half an hour late.
And den while buying OCK saw najip.
Dat guy with alot of tattoo from ite bedok.
The one that look so keleng.
I'm sure didi still remember him.
And he happened to be the prettyboy fren.
And they kept on talking and talking.
dunno how many minutes burn.
And i have to force myself to start a conversation with that najib gf.
Which happened to be an x-bds;my junior.
I think she's in GG also.
But the case that always doesnt turn up.
So after dat we decided to have a seat at Padang.
And we actually did talked things out.
What I've been keeping.
What he've been keeping.
And i feel relieved.
Cos there's nth else that i hide from him.
And den we walk all the way to Clark Quay.
And thank god Abah allowed me to be home late
after explaining to him everything.
And den we talked things out again.
And honestly,I felt so fed up each time he smoked.
and he knows dat.
I managed to actually steal one of his marlboro red.
And is now in my bucket bag which is at home.
And hopefully no one will bongkar my bag.
If it happens, den i'll have to face alot of question.
Ok so,this will also be my last post b4 16thAug.
I'll be on hiatus.
But if u feel like calling/texting or msning with me.
Just go ahead alryt.
I'll entertain u.
But I'll appreciate more if u dun disturb me.
Til then ppl!

2008-08-04T12:18:00.002+08:00

I wanna run away from everything!
But dunno where i should run to.
I'm getting worried abt my body.
i lose my appetite.
and actually did felt like vomitting when i eat.
but i force myself not to vomit.
wahh...i'm so scared of having aneroxic sia!
my skinny jeans doesnt look skinny anymore
cos now its lose..

2008-08-03T11:08:00.003+08:00

Makeover photos uploaded!

He looks so happy!haha

2008-08-03T00:08:00.002+08:00

"My tears run down like razorblades and no,
I'm not the one to blame: it's you or is it me?
And all the words we never say come out and now
we are all ashamed.
And there is no sense
In playing games, when you done all you can do.

But now it's over, it's over.
Why is it over?
We had the chance to make it.
Now it's over,
It's over. It can't be over.
I wish that I could take it back, but it's over.

I lose myself in all these fights;
I lose my sense of wrong and right.
I cry, I cry. I'm
Shaking from the pain that's in my head.
I just want to crawl into my bed and throw away
The life that I led.
But I won't let it die.
But I won't let it die.

But it's over, it's over.
Why is it over?
We had the chance to make it.
Now it's over,
It's over.
It can't be over.
I wish that I could take it back.

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart.
Don't say this wont last forever.
You're breaking
My heart, you're breaking my heart.
Don't tell that we will never be together.
We could be over
And over, we could be forever.

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart.
Don't say this wont last forever.
You're breaking
My heart, you're breaking my heart.
Don't tell that we will never be together.
We could be over
And over, we could be forever.

It's not over.
It's not over, it's never over, unless you let it take you, it's not over,
It's not over, it's not over, unless you it break you. It's not over."

I'm feeling soooo shitty right now.
I dunno what to do.
Frens called me paranoid.
And i noe that too.
I'm sorry for becoming what i've become.
I promise once everything is done.
I'll get back myself in line.

Apologies for those whom I've made them dissapointed.

2008-08-01T20:26:00.002+08:00

He called me "sick girl"
i became sick bcos of you!
you smoked infront of me when i'm still a kid.
dont blame me if i frequently fall sick.
i hate you!

2008-08-01T12:27:00.001+08:00

successfully lost another kilo!
i'm 49kg now!

2008-07-29T12:16:00.002+08:00

i told mom that i'm afraid of eating.
cos i've successfully lost 5 kg.
she said i'm crazy.
yest,mom fried chicken nugget.
my favourite.
but i only ate half of a piece.
i'm really scared of gaining dat 5 kg again.
n since then,i ate half serving of rice.
1 meal per day.
sometimes never eat at all.
i'm dying to lose another 2 kg...!

2008-07-28T12:24:00.003+08:00

Okay i'm back.
but still, I have yet to get myself back inline.
1 day is just not enuff for me.
Reached home at 3am yesterday.
and den had my 2hrs+++ of sleep.
den off to work.
and now i'm having headache and feel like vomitting.

Oh ya,met ais the other day.
chilled at boat quay.
and den for the first time she asked me "kau kenape?"
and den i was like soo lazy to repeat the story again and again
and asked her to read my diary instead.
and den she went speechless..
i dunno why.
i dunno if she went speechless bcos of me or bcos of the other party.
okay i noe i'm not being myself these days.
i need some brain washing.
so i can start anew.
only brain washing will make me heal.
nothing else can.

and sweet2 things happened recently.
as soon as i reached singapore.
received a text from ais.
and i feel like crying while reading it.
here goes her text
"Babe,pls do eat and have enuff rest.
U so do neeed to take care of urself.
U know u've shrinked in size,like alot.
It saddens me to see u in this condition.
So pls nano. hmmm..
Love,ais"

okay dat was her first msg.
the second one goes
"N one thing dear, hand slashin/gravin/carvin is
not an option to reduce the pain in u.
If u can,pls nano quit doing it.
n another things,smoking doesnt help u gt any better.
i hope dat was the last time u had such thots.
u disappoint me.
darling,dun disappoint the hhp.
dun do any stupid things alrite.
do beep me or any hhp if u gt any prob.
take care once again.."

and this morning.
i received a text from miss smiley.
"Hey miss sunshine! :)
I know i've not been able to be with u for the
past few days.
i hope that you noe eventho i'm not with u physically,
i'm with you mentally.
love you lots.
have a great day okay."

and after receiving all these text.
i realised dat there's alot out there who cares and loves me.
but situation makes me go blind and thinks that no one cares anymore.
I'm really sorry for disappointing those who cares for me.
I know somehow, I've hurt your feelings.
I'm really sorry.

2008-07-26T17:23:00.002+08:00

I'm off to somewhere i can find peace.
And sorry to the people whom i've made them feel disappointed.
Pray hard that i can get myself back inline.
Take care love ones!

2008-07-24T12:20:00.001+08:00

I can do whatever i want like you.

2008-07-23T10:20:00.003+08:00

Today,
I didnt go to work again.
I still need time to get myself back in line.
And sorry to the colleagues if u're asked to follow up my halfway done artwork.
And i'm lucky enough that my boss understands what i'm going thru.
So right now i'm resting at home.
few minutes ago,
i read almost all of my archieves.
It makes me miss the ITE mates more..
And also makes me realise whatever that happened in the past,
makes me a stronger person.
I read one of my entry and i realised how much i hate being a designer while schooling just bcos mr.ethan dissed my artwork during the portfolio presentation.
But now, i realised that his words makes me a stronger person especially when comes to designing line.
I shouldnt have hated him back instead i should accept his words with open heart.
But,whats past is past.
I've already chosen designing as my earnings.
Yes,it is a stressful job especially when your mind are not clear.
But I'm lucky enough that i have frens and newly made frens to support me.
Especially Kak Nyra who's still checking on me after what happened on saturday.
She's the only person who understands my feelings and she knows how painful it is facing what u didnt expect to happen.
To friends who have been listening to my whinings,especially Sri and Seha..Thanks alot girls. And thanks for staying with me thru my worst days.
To Hairie,I know u hate it when i kept on mentioning abt what had happened.And kept on complaining dat i have difficulties concentrating at work.I wont mention abt it again.I promise.
For myself,I have to really move on and never look back.I tried once but failed.I'll keep on trying.

2008-07-21T21:06:00.004+08:00

January was 55kg.
den april was 51kg.
Just an hr ago..
Its 50kg..
I've lost 5 kg in total!
2 kg more and dats it..!
I'm aiming for 48kg!
and 48kg reminds me of 17 yrs old!
i miss having short hair...
i miss wearing 'S' size tops..
i miss bringing backpack everywhere i go..
i miss my thick2 eyeliner...
i'm sooooooooo missing those times...!
and the people who's ard me that time..
schmates...
classmates...
and lover...

2008-07-20T15:38:00.002+08:00

Atlast we're back on track.
Thanks for the people who've giving me their support thruout my worst days.

2008-07-19T13:51:00.000+08:00

Can we rewind everything and stop at our favourite part?